Issue 0: Meet the birds!

The fine folks at Birdbath have taken the time to interview its editors for your reading pleasure. They hope you enjoy! <3

 

Sienna, part one

Birdbath: SO, what’s your deal.

Sienna: What does that mean? 

Bb: It means what’s your deal?

S: My deal is that I’m so busy, and I have 14 books checked out from the library.

Bb: Why do you have that many?

S: Well, (gesturing around the table) as many of us are, I’m a senior writing a thesis. and I have a need to know everything. What’s your average words per minute?

Bb: I don’t know. A lot. Do you want me to put that in there?

Zac: You should. 

Bb: What’s the deal with your thesis?

S: My thesis is…um…(chuckles) It’s about After Hours. The movie After Hours. 

Z (to S): You’re so toxic.

S (to Bb): You’re so toxic. (pause) And I’m from Seattle, Washington. 

Zac, part one

Bb: Zac. What’s your deal?

Zac: So, I ordered this bagel from the Cleve cafe. I ordered an impossible bagel, but they gave me this bullshit, and it’s really yucky. I don’t know what this is. Um, I don’t know. I…what’s my deal?

Bb: Are you a Wind-Up Bird?

Z: Like, basically. Um… yeah, I’m part of too many bird-themed things. I think this interview is gonna be really good. I think all 3 of these interviews are gonna be really good.

Bb: Yeah!

Z: How are we publishing these interviews?

Bb: I think on the website.

Z: But, like, format wise?

Bb: Like, as a post?

Z: The words we’re saying are all exclusively for this Google doc. We’re not having a conversation. Okay, I think that’s good.

Morgan, part one

Bb: Okay Morgan, what’s your deal?

Morgan: WHAT’S YOUR DEAL???

Bb: Well, yeah, ok. This is supposed to be – i’m supposed to be interviewing you.

M: Right now I'm a really sleepy little guy, I have too much going on, but I'm really happy to be a little bird in a birdbath. It’s my dream. It's what I think of when I go to sleep at night.

Bb: Okay, um – (looking at the screen for the first time) holy shit, this looks busted.

M: It looks busted??

Bb: Yeah this shit is bad… um, why are you sleepy?

M: I stayed up until 1 last night watching TikToks about the Miami Boys' Choir and the guy from the Try Guys that cheated on his wife. I don’t have an emotional attachment to the Try Guys, thankfully, but clearly half of campus does.

 

S: Oh, was it on YikYak? 

M: It was on YikYak. You know what my deal is? My deal is YikYak.

S: That’s true, actually.

M: Yeah. And that might be the interview!

S: Zac, I feel like we should come back to you.

Zac, part two

Bb: Zac, I feel like we should come back to you. What have you been watching recently?

Z: Well, I just watched Francis Ford Coppola’s Dracula for the first time, and it rocked my shit. It’s really good. I think it might be my new favorite movie, but you’ll have to wait to hear more about that in Birdbath issue 1 [out October 13th]. I also rewatched School of Rock, and it bangs. It’s an all-timer. It holds up every time.

Bb: That’s so true.

Z (leaving the table): I’m gonna throw this yucky bagel away.

Bb: And you’re so right for that!

 

M: Sienna, I think we need to go back to you.

Sienna, part two

Bb: So, Sienna….what have YOU been watching recently?

S: Um, I just started watching Ramy on Hulu, because I had to watch one of Ramy Youssef's comedy specials for a class this summer, and I found him very charming. And I’ve been enjoying his show so far!

Bb: What are your upcoming plans for the next few days?

S: Well tomorrow’s my birthday, but I’m not really doing anything about that because I’m leaving the state to go to my godsister’s wedding. But Monday I’m going to see My Chemical Romance…which I think may fix me!

Morgan, part two

Bb: Morgan how do you feel about Birdbath Issue 1?

M: What?

Bb: How do you feel about Birdbath Issue 1?

M: I am really looking forward to Birdbath issue 1! I look forward to writing about my favorite movie, Scooby Doo (2002), directed by Raja Gosnell and written by James Gunn. And it’s the best movie ever made.

Final thoughts:

Bb: Is there anything you’d like to say to Birdbath’s loyal readers?

M: Pleaaaaase pretty pretty pleeeeaaase pretty pleaaaase submit. And I’m looking forward to reading submissions!

Bb: What about you, Zac?

 

Z: PuhLEASSSSE.

Bb: Is that it?

Z: Guys, they’re gonna kill us if you don’t submit.

S: They’re gonna take us out back and shoot us like a lame horse.

Bb: What about you?

S: We love you!

Z: Mwah! (sees Sienna typing that out) Fuck off.

S: You should submit. :)

M: Yeah.

S: I like being alive.

 

Submissions for issue 1 of Birdbath are due by 11:59 PM on Tuesday, October 12th. You can submit (or ask questions!) at birdbathpub@gmail.com.