PACO'S FAVORITES

 by Paco

I’m a guy like anyone else. I have my preferences. They’ll try to tell you I’m undiscerning, but that’s just their long-standing hatred against messed-up dogs who are small and have opinions. And I—please listen; this might be the most important thing I’ll say—refuse to subdue that part of myself.

I’ve got a lot of favorites, and I’d like to thank the folks at Birdbath for giving me the platform to share them. I’m not blind to the haze of controversy that follows me around this campus. I know attaching my name could jeopardize their legitimacy. Still, in the face of mass censorship and baseless libel, they chose to support me and my voice. Thanks, Birdbath.

I love media! Media of all types. Actually, I’m not much of a movie guy—although there is a sort of short documentary I’ve been loving lately. It’s known colloquially as the Larry Bible, and it documents the fervent love of former One Direction members Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson. My hate cult will do their best to silence me, but let me be clear: LOVE IS LOVE! Anyway, it’s a great video. Ahead of its time.

Favorite food is kibble. I’m on a special urinary diet, which I’ve noticed makes me markedly more suave. Recently my owner Zoe’s been putting some water in the bowl with my food, which has totally just changed the game. Really mixes up the dominant flavors and plays with texture in a cool way. I’ve also been snacking on some paper towels from the trash, but in another cowardly attempt to suppress the inimitable core of who I am, my housemates have been leaving the bathroom door closed. Guess I’ll starve!

Favorite song? I’d have to say "Star Spangled Banger," off Panic! At the Disco’s spectacular new album Viva Las Vengeance. I might go so far as to say it’s the best album they’ve put out in a decade! There’s something undeniably tantalizing about Brendon Urie, wouldn’t you say? When he sings that line about the home of the freaks…I don’t know. It really strikes a chord. I feel belonging and peace, the profundity of which shocks me every time. What an awesome way to honor our country and little guys like me simultaneously. Go Brendon!

 

Thanks for tuning in this week. I’ll be back—and that scares them.

Signing off,

Paco