Things that have improved my quality of life

by Fi Black

1) cutting my butter laterally. i’m not here to have warm versus cold butter discussion but it applies to both states, when it’s cold and hard to cut cutting butter longways maximizes the amount of salty richness and also my effort and having to physically spread the butter. if the roast is warm it will melt anyway and be on a larger surface area. less effort and time. however it will make a kind of half pipe shape over time, to which you use those ends to butter your noodles.

2) watching steven universe including the epilogue season: for neigh-sayers this is not a tv show but literally mmm art? therapy? comfort? an eldritch horror show painter in pastels. if you don’t like this show without even watching past the first season (when it was literally 2013 and rebecca sugar the creator was trying to placate the tone of Cartoon Network shows at the time like Clarence so it’s a lil more prone to silliness but uses that to her ADVANTAGE when writing a coming of age story for a boy and all of his maternal figures who also change) there’s no words to describe it’s cleverness, it’s joy, and if you don’t trust me look up the song “Here Comes A Thought” the next time you have an anxiety attack and listen to the woman who sings “American Boy” see your s o u l. it’s also really sapphic. 

3) Morning star spicy black bean burgers: it feels healthy and if i toast them 3 times i don’t need an oven

4) attempting to roll my weed. if you make yourself do the chore of making a joint you will smoke less and save money. (if you know me i only buy pre rolls because i’m lazy, this doesn’t apply to me, i want it to, i go through phases).

5) the owl house. watch it it’s perfect for the spooky season, literally so funny and like a better harry potter with gay people and a bird lady MILF.

6) playing some sort of competitive video game sometimes it’s nice to feel like good at something and there are numbers that represent it in the most lowstakes way (i cannot in good conscious recommend league of legends…)  

7) Netflix KDramas. i cannot physically go into how entertaining these 16 hour rube goldberg machine daydreams are but if you doubt me you doubt the nature of good content. i cannot literally unleash the number of reasons and benefits i get but the main one is equal parts entertainment and planned emotions and it’s nice feeling exactly what a show wants to feel, because again the rube goldberg level of perfect in these things. a short list: Crash Landing on You, Mine, Move to Heaven, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, Twenty-Five Twenty-One, and if you want no romance Uncanny Counter or Inspector Koo

8) dating womxn. 

9) god another nerdy recommendation??? hey you did you always wanna play dnd? yes no???? i hate playing because it’s like nobody’s that fun to play dnd with but maybe watching 7 comedians play and marvel at the very elaborate tiny sets they build by watching Dimension 20 will give you the same seratonin you might have had by playing DND if you and friends or the want to put in so much time on a thing people will commit to only 2 times then always drop and watch wonderful funny improv between delightful people.

10) allowing myself to find peace in not doing much.

BONUS AND THE MOST IMPORTANT:
 

are you lonely? or do you have a bunch of friends that like to get high and do puzzles and funny voices? GET THE PROFESSOR LAYTON GAME TRIOLOGY ON THE APP STORE. remember the professor layton games? yeah they slap so hard. he’s teaching this boy named like to be a “true gentleman” by going around solving strangers’s puzzles and being better than Scotland yard and maybe slaying vampires or traveling through TIME???? ITS INSANE. and good as a group activity because it’s a collaborative story and you can read the funny voices of people and also do math problems that are hard or visual puzzles that are so good or if you’re lonely these stories and lore will consume every corner of your sole. there’s also like a red herring villain whose a cross between the evil guy in lazy town and dr. egg man from sonic and he’s like irish but his name is Don Paulo???? also as a certified lesbian i would marry Hershel layton K thanks.