My Many Yik Yak Related Secrets...

By someone who needs to get off Yik Yak

 if you think about it I'm just really like Mr. Dream YouTube

I first heard about YikYak way back when it was in its original form and my sister was in college…so like 2014-2015 maybe? It was like Whisper (which my high school used at the time) but honestly much more depressing. College students really loved to reveal how sad and lonely they are on anonymous chat apps (and they still do).

After transferring to Whitman, I tried Yik Yak in Fall 2021, but it didn’t hold my attention. I made a couple funny posts, but got bored quickly. So I deleted it and forgot about it.

Spring 2022. My friend Zoë won’t stop talking about this Yik Yak so I download it again. I am suddenly intrigued by this silly app. I’m connected to my campus, despite the fact that I’m a transfer student and literally no one knows me. I make some posts about watching Batman Begins and suddenly other people are posting about it too? I made at least two other people start watching Batman Begins? Weird stuff. I could see direct impacts of my influence on the app, and it was kinda fun. Kinda, a lot of fun. 

My friend Julia and I decided it would be funny if we make a post saying we saw Jeff Goldblum on campus and for some reason people actually believed it. Or if they didn’t believe it, they played into the joke. Jeff Goldblum had his moment on campus, and this was my first Yik Yak scheme where I realized just how impactful dumb anonymous messages could be. It was my first taste of realizing how harmless lies on Yik Yak could be tantalizingly fun.

I know some people on this campus know my secret identities, but for those who don’t, here’s a teaser: I’m the Whitman Yik Yak Campus Herder (@whityak_ on Instagram), lover of lying and scheming, and, most importantly…someone who has been too involved with Yik Yak. Please forgive the dramatics. 

So yeah. I have done too much on this app, and honestly I don’t think many people remember most of it, but it still happened. If you want to hear more about it all, read along, it’ll be quite a story. I’ll try to keep it brief. 

After the Jeff Goldblum thing, I was hooked. I was saying random things on the app and they were taking off, but most importantly I was having fun. 

It was the night of Dragtastica 2022, and my friend Zoë and I thought it would be funny if we started posting yaks about this fake off-campus house and all the parties that happened there. We picked a random name: The Sprout.

Now, we set the seeds of this early. We talked about a Tumblr party, the people at the Sprout taking care of us when we were blackout drunk, and the Sprout cancelling parties due to Covid concerns…they were really upright citizens. 

We posted about the house for probably a month before I set my plan into action, where I created various posts over the course of a few days (until people caught on) depicting interpersonal drama in the house with Sam from the Sprout and his housemates. Their entire lives went into disarray. And mind you, I completely made all of this up. 

Other people were talking about it and curious about this drama that literally never even happened…it was so much fun. Is lying bad? Probably yes. But I was having such a great time crafting a narrative, as if I were a fiction writer and my medium was simply an anonymous chat app.  

I have a lot of screenshots if you want more in-depth sprout lore, but here’s a sampling:

And throughout this I decided to be Gossip Girl. I had finished rewatching the show and couldn’t get Kristen Bell’s voice out of my head, so I started yakking like her in hopes that someone else would take it over. Nobody did. One big misconception in Spring 2022 was that it was multiple people but no, it was 90% all me. I don’t know gossip, and I don’t like gossip, so this was a pretty big obstacle. Which is why the only real-sounding gossip posts made by me were about The Sprout, or things that Zoë and I made up. Gossip Girl was only a tiny blip, and I nearly forgot it, but it was fun enough.

Sometime around here, my icon became Pink Cow. I don’t know why, I just settled on an icon and I liked being known for something. It’s a catchy name, what can I say. It’s been like a year and I’m still holding onto it.

At some point, I successfully took a break from Yik Yak...but only because I got temporarily banned for making a really stupid post...and I didn't really take a break, I just started yakking from my friends' phones and spreading the news that Pink Cow had been banned.

I was banned a couple times but the other violations are incredibly embarrassing so you can't see them

At the end of Spring 2022, I was moving into a house, and I told my new roommates about my lying, and we agreed to just begin referring to our house as The Sprout. We stopped telling people the drama was fake, and in fact told people to their faces it was real. We tried to add a bit more to the lore at the beginning of Fall 2022, but the excitement had really died down.

(Poor Sam from the Sprout transferred from Whitman and is now doing very well at U Chicago)

Before the school year started, I saw that Yik Yak (the app) was looking for campus ambassadors, and I took 10 minutes and sent an application. It seemed like it could be fun, and worst case I just never hear back from them…except they got back to me in 3-5 business days. They wanted me to be Whitman’s campus “herder." 

I started @whityak_ under the umbrella of the official Yik Yak. I got to work with this company and see all the cogs in this machine! I got to have another secret! More lying! 

I also became a moderator for the herd. I’m the person who is there to make sure you stop using real people’s names and saying bad things. I had assumed the position would primarily be moderation, but it turns out I got to use marketing...skills that I actually already work with and could add to my resume! Yahoo! I will say, I would not have made a Yik Yak highlights Instagram account by choice, but it has been a good experience thus far. 

But as the semester wore on, it got tedious. I got busy, I got tired of checking the Yak, and I was posting only out of necessity. And Yik Yak just started to go downhill, both locally and as a whole. I didn’t even know what was happening on there anymore. Everything looked the same, nothing was funny, and it started to feel like neither was I. And if I’m not funny, what am I? That’s a personal problem for another time.

I stopped making yaks, and if I did they were completely unfunny to me and just complete upvote fodder. Throw Sarah Bolton in there somewhere and the people eat it up. When exposed to this much Yik Yak you learn what people resonate most with, and you can start to just understand the “human algorithm.” How people upvote, downvote, comment, etc. 

For those curious, the campus ambassador is a volunteer position. You get tiered benefits, but it isn’t a job. My goal was to make some connections, get a nice resume boost, and have some fun. And I personally think I achieved that…and if you also want to achieve that, you maybe should think about applying to take my position over. 

YOU could be lucky enough to be in the Yik Yak Slack Chat! 

PLEASE I'M GOING TO GRADUATE VERY SOON!

I must apologize to those who follow my account, because there haven't been a lot of posts lately. I've been ridiculously busy this semester, and I may have over-committed myself. And, to be frank, I can only post so many lonely horny yaks before it weighs on my psyche.

If you want your "unsanitized content," go follow @whit.yak. Or alternatively, just download and look at Yik Yak?

At this point, you either figured out who I am based on the context clues, already knew all of this about me, or are still clueless - probably because you don’t know who I am in the first place. I don't blame you. I don’t think I’m a very well known figure on campus by any means, though I do try my best to be involved and not holed up in my room. 

I am, however, not the most discerning in who I tell about these Yik Yak secrets. I can be convinced fairly easily to divulge. Except for the few people for some reason I chose to persistently lie to (I'm really sorry, you were just the chosen ones). 

So, hello. My name is Morgan Stone. I transferred to Whitman in fall 2021 from Pacific University. I’m a Birdbath editor, a FMS major, a member of the Whitman Choirs, promotions co-director and DJ for KWCW, involved in honestly more than I physically have time for, and someone who interestingly thinks that social media is not good for me, despite the fact that I am currently logged into 8 Instagram accounts on my phone (5 Whitman related!) and am extensively involved with Yik Yak. 

proving my yak prowess

Why I am I sharing this now?

I’m starting to apply for post-grad jobs, and I need to put this on my portfolio and LinkedIn profile. So when I posted that little poll on the Instagram page about whether I should do a reveal? You actually had little say in the matter. I'm sorry for misleading you, I just needed to add a bit of drama and create anticipation. 

And you know what? I'm sorry for the amount of lying this silly little app inspired in me. I suppose all the schemes and plots that I posted on there were just creative writing. I had my fun, I hope others did too, but it's time to lay it to rest. I need to come clean. I need to stop lying for my own good.

What’s the worst thing that can happen from me exposing myself? Worst case: I get bullied…so, just please don't? If you are burning with curiosity and want to know more about this, just reach out! I'd be happy to talk about it.

And I guess...go follow @whityak_? Ideally I can do a merch giveaway at 500 followers. If they let me. It's pretty up in the air right now. 

To close out this exposé on myself, here is my new anthem: "Come Clean" by Hillary Duff. 

 

(ps please pretend there isn't a typo in the cover photo, my file got corrupted and I couldn't fix it)