The MORBUS Awards
by Morban Stone
Recently, I watched the 95th Academy Awards and I was shaken to my core at what was constituted as “good enough” to be nominated. In what world are we nominating Top Gun: Maverick for best picture, and not the objectively best movie of 2022: Morbius?
I sat through the Oscars with a pit in my stomach, hoping fruitlessly that maybe someone on that stage would come to their senses and mention the ways in which Morbius had been snubbed. Perhaps the Daniels would mention the ways in which Morbius influenced the making of Everything Everywhere All At Once during one of their many awards acceptance speeches.
But I waited, and I waited, and nobody cared. There was no surprise Morbius performance. Nobody at the 95th Academy Awards cared, and I’ve come to the conclusion that none of them actually care about cinema.
So I’ve taken it upon myself to right some wrongs, and justify why Morbius should have received every nomination, if not every award, at this year’s Oscars.
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DISQUALIFICATIONS
Now, naturally, Morbius doesn’t qualify for every category at the Oscar’s, that would be ridiculous! No film could possibly be considered for each category….yet….
So here is the shortlist of categories that Morbius just unfortunately doesn’t qualify for. If it did, it would naturally sweep, but the Academy has their stupid little rules:
DOCUMENTARY SHORT FILM / ANIMATED SHORT FILM / LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
Morbius just simply isn’t a short-film, so it can’t be nominated in any of these categories. It is technically a film that is short, but it just doesn’t fit the qualification of a short film. Its nasty semantics, I know, and it’s robbing Morbius of another Academy Award that it could have snagged. But we must accept these shortcomings of the Academy and take it in stride.
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
It turns out that Morbius is an adapted screenplay and cannot be considered for this category! More on that later.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about the awards in which Morbius was snubbed, and at the very least should have been given a nomination.
I sat through the Oscars with a pit in my stomach, hoping fruitlessly that maybe someone on that stage would come to their senses and mention the ways in which Morbius had been snubbed. Perhaps the Daniels would mention the ways in which Morbius influenced the making of Everything Everywhere All At Once during one of their many awards acceptance speeches.
But I waited, and I waited, and nobody cared. There was no surprise Morbius performance. Nobody at the 95th Academy Awards cared, and I’ve come to the conclusion that none of them actually care about cinema.
So I’ve taken it upon myself to right some wrongs, and justify why Morbius should have received every nomination, if not every award, at this year’s Oscars.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
DISQUALIFICATIONS
Now, naturally, Morbius doesn’t qualify for every category at the Oscar’s, that would be ridiculous! No film could possibly be considered for each category….yet….
So here is the shortlist of categories that Morbius just unfortunately doesn’t qualify for. If it did, it would naturally sweep, but the Academy has their stupid little rules:
DOCUMENTARY SHORT FILM / ANIMATED SHORT FILM / LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM
Morbius just simply isn’t a short-film, so it can’t be nominated in any of these categories. It is technically a film that is short, but it just doesn’t fit the qualification of a short film. Its nasty semantics, I know, and it’s robbing Morbius of another Academy Award that it could have snagged. But we must accept these shortcomings of the Academy and take it in stride.
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
It turns out that Morbius is an adapted screenplay and cannot be considered for this category! More on that later.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about the awards in which Morbius was snubbed, and at the very least should have been given a nomination.
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Contrary to popular belief, the main character of this film isn’t Michael Morbius. Rather, it’s Milo Morbius, expertly portrayed on the silver screen by an actor famous only for his stint in American Pyscho the Musical and nothing else: Matt Smith.
The scene in which he dances then absolutely morbs out is one of the more nuanced performances of the year. It was with care and precision that he performed, and it really makes people feel. And when he morbs out? It makes me feel like I too could be a Morbius if I really wanted.
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Naturally, if American Psycho the Musical actor Matt Smith wins for actor in a leading role, actor in a supporting role falls to the performance of two men who play nearly indistinguishable characters: the two detectives, portrayed by Al Madrigal and Tyrese Gibson. Good job guys.
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Some would say that Adria Arjona’s role as Dr. Martine Bancroft wasn’t a leading role and Morbius didn’t give her enough screen time. I would agree with that sentiment. But she lead this film in a way that no other actor did. Some would say that this movie doesn’t do much for female characters. But that is not Arjona’s fault. Rather, she did the best she could with what she was given. She performed.
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
It was difficult at first to figure who would be given this honor. To be frank, there are few female characters in Morbius. That’s just the way that art is sometimes. I would have to say that this honor goes to the woman who portrayed the nurse who was morbed by Milo Morbius, Joanna Burnett. I'm sorry you didn't have more screentime and you got morbed.
ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
This film is actually an animated feature film. I mean, let’s brake it down. It’s a film, obviously. And, naturally, it’s a feature. I mean, watch this thing, there’s so much feature. And then most notably — animated. This film is very very animated. Not physically animated, because there are no digital effects, but look at the people. They are animated and excited about what they’re doing. They are passionate. They bring the screen to life. They animate the film.
CINEMATORGRAPHY
Oliver Wood is known for his work on projects such as Freaky Friday and Face/Off. Much of the cinematography in this film is actually pretty good. There’s some creativity and shots that really don’t look bad. It’s an absolutely capable film in terms of cinematography, and it’s clear that there was some creativity.
Oliver Wood passed away in February of this year, may he rest in peace.
COSTUME DESIGN
Cindy Evans & Holly Freeman really put in the work. These two women have had countless credits on films, and clearly have put their time in to supervising and designing costumes for the film industry. And this film is no different. The costuming is really really good.
DIRECTING
Daniel Espinosa did a really good job, and it’s clear that he was really inspired. I’m sure much of that comes from reading that script and it completely restructuring is brain. From normal to morbed.
I loved whenever Michael Morbius drank from the blood because it felt so creative. The way he drank was absolutely changing the game.
And when you realize that Milo is now morbed? The directing is subtle, but goes a long way to make for interesting sequence. It builds the anticipation. I’m excited by the shaky cam that makes me feel like I’m there with Milo and Michael, close to becoming a Morb.
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Many don’t know this, but this is actually a documentary. I know that seems fantastic, since this story involves Marvel Comics vampires, but the truth is…this happened to my buddy Eric onc-
FILM EDITING
Good editing! The editing was good! I loved the really long boring scenes and I loved the really fast paced ending!
INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM
So, you may not know this, but this is actually an international feature film, because a lot of scenes in the film take place in countries other than the United States. That’s how they define international feature film, I know, I read the Academy. Trust me I'm a film major.
MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM
So, you may not know this, but this is actually an international feature film, because a lot of scenes in the film take place in countries other than the United States. That’s how they define international feature film, I know, I read the Academy. Trust me I'm a film major.
MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING
Jared Leto's hair earns the award for this film. It was so good and so well done.
ORIGINAL SCORE
While watching the movie, you almost don’t notice the score. That’s how unique it is. I’ve seen this movie countless times, and I couldn’t tell you what the score sounds like, only how it makes me feel.
ORIGINAL SONG
Have sex! Have sex! Poop my pants a bit, poop my pants a bit. I know that this technically wasn’t an original song for the movie…but it will never be associated with anything else in my mind.
PRODUCTION DESIGN
This is the only film I’ve seen that Stefania Cella worked on, and I think she did a good job. Her work was overshown by how Morbin everything else was, and I wish she could have her moment in the spotlight. Thank you for your work.
SOUND
What can I say about the sound? I mostly love when I get to hear Morbius morb out, but that’s just me.
VISUAL EFFECTS
I know that it is highly contested as to whether the visual effects in this film were good, and some people claim that the animation is terrible. Well, I hate to break it to those naysayers, but there were actually no digital effects in this film, it was entirely comprised of practical effects.
Think about how impressive that is. Think about how many bats they had to wrangle to achieve these visual effects. Like, Jared Leto actually turned into a morbius for this movie. He literally morbed out. I know many people think that it is just all visual effects, but Jared Leto is actually just like that. In most movies, they spend all their budget on visual effects to make Jared Leto not look like a morbius.
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
You may be unaware, because it is such a creative piece of writing, but Morbius is adapted from hit Marvel comic series, Morbius. I know, it surprised me too when I learned that this wasn’t an original screenplay, because it felt so fresh and creative that I had assumed it was new. But I suppose that is just a testament to how good the writing was in the film.
I love when Michael renames Lucian to Milo. It makes you think about what’s in a name. It’s magical.
I love when Michael Morbius kills literally so many characters throughout, and then we are still supposed to see him as the protagonist. It’s really thoughtful. It’s really good nuance to make an anti-hero work.
“I’m starting to get hungry. And you don’t wanna see me when I’m hungry.”
Milo kills one person and Michael is so mad, despite the fact that he killed a dozen people on a ship just days earlier.
My favorite thing about the film is the pacing. The ending really comes out of nowhere and hits you like a bus, making you reflect on what you just saw, and your expectations for film as a whole. Why should we expect an ending to build up? Why should we expect things to wrap up? Morbius leaves it up to the audience to make their own value judgements on the characters and their actions. It doesn’t manipulate you into seeing the film as the director does, only offers up a powerful story, rife with multiple interpretations.
Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless: You have my heart.
BEST PICTURE
At this point, if you haven’t already agreed with me that Morbius should have won best picture for the 95th Oscars, I’m not sure what else I can possibly say to you to convince you. Everything about it is perfect. Morbius manages to achieve everything, everywhere...maybe even all at once!
ORIGINAL SCORE
While watching the movie, you almost don’t notice the score. That’s how unique it is. I’ve seen this movie countless times, and I couldn’t tell you what the score sounds like, only how it makes me feel.
ORIGINAL SONG
Have sex! Have sex! Poop my pants a bit, poop my pants a bit. I know that this technically wasn’t an original song for the movie…but it will never be associated with anything else in my mind.
PRODUCTION DESIGN
This is the only film I’ve seen that Stefania Cella worked on, and I think she did a good job. Her work was overshown by how Morbin everything else was, and I wish she could have her moment in the spotlight. Thank you for your work.
SOUND
What can I say about the sound? I mostly love when I get to hear Morbius morb out, but that’s just me.
VISUAL EFFECTS
I know that it is highly contested as to whether the visual effects in this film were good, and some people claim that the animation is terrible. Well, I hate to break it to those naysayers, but there were actually no digital effects in this film, it was entirely comprised of practical effects.
Think about how impressive that is. Think about how many bats they had to wrangle to achieve these visual effects. Like, Jared Leto actually turned into a morbius for this movie. He literally morbed out. I know many people think that it is just all visual effects, but Jared Leto is actually just like that. In most movies, they spend all their budget on visual effects to make Jared Leto not look like a morbius.
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
You may be unaware, because it is such a creative piece of writing, but Morbius is adapted from hit Marvel comic series, Morbius. I know, it surprised me too when I learned that this wasn’t an original screenplay, because it felt so fresh and creative that I had assumed it was new. But I suppose that is just a testament to how good the writing was in the film.
I love when Michael renames Lucian to Milo. It makes you think about what’s in a name. It’s magical.
I love when Michael Morbius kills literally so many characters throughout, and then we are still supposed to see him as the protagonist. It’s really thoughtful. It’s really good nuance to make an anti-hero work.
“I’m starting to get hungry. And you don’t wanna see me when I’m hungry.”
Milo kills one person and Michael is so mad, despite the fact that he killed a dozen people on a ship just days earlier.
My favorite thing about the film is the pacing. The ending really comes out of nowhere and hits you like a bus, making you reflect on what you just saw, and your expectations for film as a whole. Why should we expect an ending to build up? Why should we expect things to wrap up? Morbius leaves it up to the audience to make their own value judgements on the characters and their actions. It doesn’t manipulate you into seeing the film as the director does, only offers up a powerful story, rife with multiple interpretations.
Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless: You have my heart.
BEST PICTURE
At this point, if you haven’t already agreed with me that Morbius should have won best picture for the 95th Oscars, I’m not sure what else I can possibly say to you to convince you. Everything about it is perfect. Morbius manages to achieve everything, everywhere...maybe even all at once!
Thank you so much for reading, Michael Morbius has been really nice and not imposing at all over my shoulder while I write this article. I truly do love Michael Morbius and this is not just out of fear for my life.
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